Kisses Never Were
by The Ultimate Reviewer
Summary: Rating is for...nothing yet! This is a Clark/Lana story, please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

~~~***~~~  
  
LANA:  
  
Another day, another chance to change things, to make them better. Another chance wasted.  
  
I sit here with Whitney, his arm around me, my fingers entwined with his. And while he whispers sweet nothings in my ear all I can do is gaze at another. Think of another.  
  
His dark hair sweeps into eyes and I long to push it back. His blue eyes are bright as he talks with his friends, his laughter ringing out into the night. The sound reminds me more of what I don't have, but need.  
  
Why do I have to be the nice girl? Why do I have to consider everyone else before myself? Why must I deny my feelings so as not to hurt Whitney? Why do I have the love of a man who I feel nothing for, yet only the friendship of the one I want?  
  
All these questions, and no answers. My eyes are still locked onto Clark's face. I can't stop looking at the way he moves, the way he tilts his head, the way his perfect mouth forms words. The way he blushes at something Pete has said, and the way it looks suspiciously like he said Pete said my name.  
  
The adorable blush creeps up Clark's cheeks as I strain to hear they're conversation. I hear nothing, but Whitney has noticed my obvious lack of attention for him. I quickly turn to look at him, hoping that he hasn't seen me staring at Clark. Again.  
  
Doubt clouds his eyes as he looks at me, trying not to say the words again. He gulps, I know he can't help it. I give him reason to doubt me, so now all he does is question my feelings. Just like I do.  
  
"Are you okay Lana? Are. are we okay?" He asks, looking into my eyes for reassurance.  
  
I fake a bright, cheery smile and answer him in a soothing voice.  
  
"Of course we are! I love you."  
  
I can't look at him as I say it, I can't face him and lie about my feelings. He smiles, but this smile is forced, strained. He knows my words are empty. So do I. But still we cling to this hollow relationship. We both hope that things can go back to the way they were, but they never can. It's too late. We've grown apart. I don't love him. And he knows it.  
  
But for now he is content to pretend that everything is alright, and I play along, even though all I want to do is be free of him.  
  
I settle back in his arms and resume watching Clark.  
  
***~~~*** 


	2. 2

~~~***~~~  
  
CLARK  
  
Pete mentions her name and I blush, looking down at my cup of steaming coffee. The mere mention of her name can warm me, the mere though of my wonderful angel is enough to set a fire in my heart. If only she knew how I felt, if only she knew that she is my only thought, my only reason for living. If only she knew she was my sole purpose for existence.  
  
I wonder if she'd respond to me, I wonder if she feels anything more than friendship towards me. There were moments when I could almost feel her love for me, moments when we were so close to achieving what we both wanted. But they ended up being the kisses that never were.  
  
And now, watching her lie in the arms of another, I don't know if I can stand not knowing if those moment could have ever been something. I want her, I need her, more than anything else in this world. If I don't have her I don't know how I can go on living this pathetic existence. I need her by my side, in my life, to even be able to admire all the beauty and light in the world. Because without her, there can only be darkness.  
  
Her radiant smile flashes as she looks with adoration as she looks at the man she loves. And my heart squeezes painfully as I watch. She's not looking at me. And I get the sinking feeling she never will see me the way she sees him.  
  
But still I hope.  
  
***~~~*** 


	3. 3

~~~***~~~  
  
LANA  
  
It's been hours since I last saw him, but I still hold the memory of his face in my mind. It's always with me, even when I sleep all my dreams are full of him. Of his laughter, his smile, his kindness. He would do anything for me, if only I'd give him the chance. Countless times he's saved my life, but still we are only friends. But in my dreams we are more, in my dreams I can feel his arms around me, his lips of mine. I want to sleep forever. But when I awaken, all that I have are memories. They're the kisses that never were.  
  
But even these memories keep me awake for hours, warming my heart, casting a constant glow across my face. The glow is there whenever I think of Clark, my feet skim across the surface of the earth, I feel elevated just by the thought of him.  
  
Whitney knows, he can see my glow, and he knows it's not because of him. He could never light up my life the way Clark has. Whitney knows it's over. So do I. It's time we admitted it. But we're both too afraid to.  
  
I slide out of my bed, casting aside the white sheets and walk to my window, staring out into the moonlight night, my eyes focused purely on one location. Clark's loft.  
  
I wonder whether he's looking at the same skies as me; I wonder if he can't sleep as well. I wonder if he's thoughts are full of me. I hope they are.  
  
***~~~*** 


	4. 4

~~~***~~~  
  
CLARK  
  
The stars twinkle brightly, shining with a splendour and beauty that only one person can surpass. Lana's beauty is more magnificent, more perfect than this amazing night sky.  
  
My eyes un-consciously go to her bedroom window, straining to see my perfect angel. I look through my telescope, and my eyes alight upon her striking form. She stares out into the night sky, the moonlight dancing across her delicate features, her porcelain skin glowing, contrasting against the darkness of her silky hair.  
  
Her sparkling eyes focus on me, and even though it's impossible for her to have seen me, I can still feel her glorious gaze sweeping over me.  
  
I wonder why she is awake at this hour, it's nearly 3AM. Maybe she couldn't sleep either. I long to see her closer up, I long to be able to speak to her, know that just for a moment it was my voice occupying her thoughts.  
  
She disappears from my view for a moment, then I catch site of her stepping onto her porch. She delicately walks down onto the roadside, lifts her head towards the stars, and then continues walking. She's heading towards my loft.  
  
My heart flutters in my chest as I realize her destination. Why is she coming here, at this time? Maybe she's drawn to me like I am drawn to her.  
  
Lost in my thoughts I do not hear her soft footfalls as she comes towards me. But her angelic voice drags me out of my daze as she softly calls my name.  
  
"Clark?"  
  
I turn around slowly, afraid this is only another dream. Her magical presence is so un-earthly that it could easily be nothing more than another of my fantasy's. I gulp and answer her, trying to drag my eyes away from her own beautiful blue eyes. (a/n: please don't hurt me, I can't remember what colour her eyes are!)  
  
"Lana. what are you doing up here?"  
  
She smiles at me, warming me from head to toe.  
  
"I couldn't sleep, and wanted some company."  
  
"Same here."  
  
"Well, do you want to go for a walk then?"  
  
I flash her a smile.  
  
"Sure."  
  
***~~~*** 


	5. 5

~~~***~~~  
  
LANA:  
  
We walk out into the moonlight farmlands, chatting aimlessly about trivial matters. Sometimes the conversation lapses into silence as we admire our surroundings. It feels so comfortable, so natural, but it's exhilarating as well. Just being this close to Clark makes my heart beat faster, my vision blur. I can't concentrate on my surroundings because all I want to do is study him, capture his face, his scent, and his touch forever in my mind.  
  
I watch the way he walks with ease, his strong limbs making fluid movements. His mouth curves up into a heart-melting smile as he admires the beauty surrounding us. And all I can do is admire him. His warm blue eyes twinkle in the half light, moonlight playing across the strong, smooth planes of his face.  
  
"Lana?" he asks, his voice full of concern.  
  
"Yes Clark?" I answer.  
  
"Are you alright, you seem. dazed. Is everything okay with you and Whitney?"  
  
I can hear a sharp note of resentment in his voice as he mentions Whitney, but his face gives away nothing. Only his eyes deceive him, they a bright with passion and jealousy.  
  
"Yes.no. I don't know. Maybe." I answer uncertainly.  
  
"Ok, I'll take option E, all of the above." He says, lightening the mood.  
  
"I just. I don't. I never have."  
  
"What is it Lana? You can tell me, I can keep a secret."  
  
Don't I know it. For as long as I've known Clark he's always been hiding something. Something that manages to keep us apart, no matter how close we get. But maybe it's not entirely Clark's fault, there are things I hide from him too. Like how I really feel about him, like how I really feel about Whitney.  
  
"I don't love him. I never had. I just don't we to be alone again."  
  
His eyes fill with concern as he grabs my shoulders and gives me a gentle shake, staring deep into my own eyes.  
  
"Lana. You'll never be alone, I'll always be there for you. I promise I'll never leave you alone."  
  
I feel a warmth flood over me as his voice soothes me. He always says the right thing.  
  
"Oh Clark. you can always make me feel better." I smile up at him and wrap my arms around his tall frame.  
  
Being held in his arms is the greatest feeling I can ever have. I feel so strong, so brave. It's like he lends me his strength so I can make it through the day. Shivers run down my spin as I feel his body next to mine. I could stay like this forever, but I can't. Dawn is breaking.  
  
The orange and pink tinted light floods down on us as we make our way back to my house. Before I leave to crash back into bed Clark takes my hand and says seriously  
  
"Lana, just follow your heart. Do what you have to. Think about yourself for a change, and make yourself happy. If you don't want to be with Whitney, then don't be with him. You can't please everyone."  
  
And once again, Clark has said just what I was thinking. Maybe today I'll have the courage to truly follow my heart.  
  
***~~~*** 


	6. 6

~~~***~~~  
  
CLARK  
  
I sit eating in the lunchroom, struggling to stay awake after last night's lack of sleep. I wonder if Lana's having the same problem, but apparently not. She look's like a vibrant butterfly as she crosses the room, her voice calling out through the cafeteria. She smiles with her friends, she lights up the room like a bright ray of sunlight.  
  
But a cloud crosses the room, sitting next to her, and I think I'm the only one that can see her light dim. It's Whitney. She plasters on a sunny smile, and only I can tell it's fake. Or maybe I'm the only one who wants to see.  
  
She talks to him, looking serious, and he interrupts. I use my hearing to determine what they're saying.  
  
"Lana, what are you doing tonight? It's Friday after all, maybe we could go catch a movie."  
  
"Whitney. I'm trying to talk to you about something." her voice trembles and I silently tell her that I will never let her be alone, that she has nothing to be afraid.  
  
'Of course. what is it?"  
  
"It's just that."  
  
You can say it Lana, you're strong enough.  
  
"Never mind. The movie sounds great." She answers, another plastic smile on her face.  
  
I let out a sigh. Today she was going to do it, she was going to follow her heart. But then again, maybe she did.  
  
***~~~*** 


	7. 7

~~~***~~~  
  
CLARK  
  
"Chloe! How could you say those things? You know it's not true! Lana isn't even the head cheerleader anymore, and she gets better grades then even you!"  
  
"You just can't see beyond her pretty face Clark! She's just an empty head full of air!"  
  
Chloe screams the words at me, her normally pretty face contorted in fury. I never realized she had such hate in her.  
  
"Chloe! Why are you saying these things? What has Lana ever done to you?"  
  
"How about stealing my best friend?"  
  
"Well, you seem to be doing a great job losing your best friend all by yourself!"  
  
I regret the words immediately, I don't want to hurt Chloe, but right now she's being un-reasonable. I stalk off in a rage leaving a shocked Chloe behind me. I stride blindly through the corridors, heading for the deserted courtyard.  
  
A lone figure sits at a table, the only person brave enough to risk the brutal winter weather. Her slender form is shaking with the force of her silent sobs, her long glimmering hair covering her face.  
  
I sit next to her, longing to comfort her, heal her, hold her in my arms. Her small frame melds into my own larger one, tears still running down her angelic face. I hold her tight as she clings to me, hoping that somehow I'll manage to bring back that beautiful smile.  
  
"Lana.why are you crying?"  
  
Although I already have a good idea why.  
  
"Clark, is that how everyone sees me? Is that all I am? The head cheerleader?"  
  
She looks up at me, her green (blue, brown. They change.) eyes full of desperation and fear. I realize how much she needs to feel loved, how afraid she is of being alone. She'll be whatever people want as long as it means they'll like her.  
  
"I don't see you like that. Because you're not like that. You're smart, and nice and beautiful. You're such a good person Lana, Chloe is just jealous."  
  
She sighs and leans back in my arms again, her tears slowly drying. But she's still trembling, and I notice that she has her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to warm herself.  
  
"Brrr.it's freezing out here!"  
  
"Here, take my jacket. I'm not cold."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
I slide off my jacket and Lana puts in on, it's bulkiness enveloping her small frame. She giggles, the musical sound a delight to my ears. I smile back at her, but the bell rings, interrupting us yet again.  
  
"Oh no, I'll be late for English!"  
  
Lana rushes off towards her class, leaving me alone in the icy weather. I have a free period. That I'm meant to be spending at the torch office. Yay.  
  
***~~~*** 


	8. 8

By the way, I really DO like Chloe. I love her in fact. So I really hate writing here like this. It's hurting me okay!!!  
  
LANA:  
  
As I work at the Talon I think back on the day's events, all thoughts of Whitney are pushed from my mind. I don't really care about breaking up with him right now; I've got other things on my mind. Clark, as usual. The tall, handsome boy is always on my mind. But this time I'm wondering what he's been hiding from me, instead of my usual passion-filled fantasies.  
  
Clark would never hurt me, I know that. And he would never hide something from me unless it was absolutely necessary. I know I should recognize his need for privacy, and that it probably doesn't even concern me. But I can't help but be curious.  
  
Space ship? What was Mr. Kent talking about? Was it a joke? No. Mr. Kent can't lie that well, the panic in his voice was clearly evident. Maybe it was a code, or maybe Mr. Kent was simply jumbling his words in his panic. Maybe it wasn't space ship at all, it could have been choc-chip or fat lip or anything. But why on earth would Mr. Kent be so worried about a choc- chip being stolen?  
  
I shake my head. What am I doing, being so silly? A choc-chip? I laugh at the ridiculous thought.  
  
"Nice to see someone's happy." Lex says bitterly, striding up to the counter.  
  
"What's wrong Lex?" I ask, noticing the pained expression on his face.  
  
"It doesn't matter." he says, "Just remember this Lana. Never trust Clark. He'll only lie to you."  
  
I turn his words over in my mind as I fix up his order, a short black coffee to go.  
  
He's obviously had a fight with Clark, but over what? Is this linked to the space-ship thing? I hand over the coffee with a smile, watching Lex stride out of the shop, still very angry.  
  
I wonder what he meant when he said not to trust Clark. I do trust Clark, with all my heart. But now I know he's hiding something from me, so how can I trust him.  
  
'He'll only lie to you' Lex said.  
  
So what's he been lying about? It must have been pretty big for Lex and Clark to have a fight like that.  
  
"Excuse me, can I please get some service here?" Calls a rather arrogant voice.  
  
I blush, realizing I was day-dreaming, and hurry over to where the voice came from. A familiar blonde head turns to watch me, cold blue (A/N: or is it green? I suck with eye colours) eyes surveying me with despise. I plaster on my best fake smile and remind myself that Chloe practically is our best costumer. All she does is drink coffee.  
  
"I'm sorry Chloe. What can I get for you?" I ask in my best waitress voice.  
  
It sounds fake and sugary even to my own ears, and Chloe certainly isn't having any of it.  
  
"Some decent service would be nice." She mutters snidely under her breath, and I quickly feel myself losing patience. "I'll take a cappuccino and a chocolate muffin."  
  
"I'll be back in just a moment." I say, hurrying off to get the order.  
  
I return within the minuet, carrying her order. One cappuccino and a chocolate muffin, both freshly made.  
  
"Here you are." I say, placing the order on the table next to Chloe's trademark laptop.  
  
"Uh, I said a blueberry muffin and a plain black coffee." She tells me, looking at me as if I'm some kind of disgusting slug.  
  
Wait, I'm sure she asked for. it doesn't matter. The costumer is always right. That's the first rule of waitressing.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'll go get your correct order."  
  
I quickly trade the orders, making sure I get the largest muffin to make up for the confusion. Although I could of sworn she said chocolate muffin and cappuccino. Maybe I'm having hearing problems, that would explain the whole space-ship thing.  
  
"I'm so sorry, here's your order." I apologize.  
  
Once again she turns to me in disgust.  
  
"I asked for a plain muffin and an iced coffee!" She exclaims.  
  
That is it. She did not ask for that. I know she didn't ask for that, I don't have hearing problems. Chloe is just being a bitch.  
  
"Chloe, no you didn't. You have changed your order three times now. Please just make up your mind." I try to say calmly.  
  
"Lana, how can you accuse me of something like that? I am not the stupid one here okay? I run the school paper, I think I can remember a simple thing like what I ordered!" She says this loudly, making all the other costumers turn our way.  
  
I feel my face flush, but I'm not letting her get away with this. I am not stupid.  
  
"Chloe, just because you're having issues with Clark, don't take it out on me. Just order your coffee and stop creating problems." I mutter through gritted teeth, trying not to draw any more attention to myself.  
  
That idea is totally wasted though, because not only is the whole café watching, but Clark has just walked in, un-be-known to Chloe, who continues on heedlessly.  
  
"Creating problems? Me? You're the one who's been creating problems! Everything between me and Clark was just fine until you came along!" She says, her face turning red.  
  
"No it wasn't." Clark interrupts, looking seriously at Chloe.  
  
Immediately she lowers her voice and looks ashamed. The rest of the costumers turn back to there drinks, leaving us to sort ourselves out.  
  
"What do you mean Clark?" She says, looking shocked.  
  
I guess it never occurred to her that maybe I wasn't to blame.  
  
"Look Chloe, we'll talk about this outside." Clark says, and leads her outside.  
  
I throw him a grateful glance and he smiles that amazing smile back at me. Suddenly I feel like smiling too, just the sight of that tall boy with his dark hair and magnetic eyes can always elevate my mood. I wonder if I have the same effect on him? I can only hope. 


	9. 9

CLARK:  
  
"Chloe, what is going on?" I ask, getting directly to the point.  
  
She looks at the sidewalk for a moment before answering.  
  
"I just.I'm jealous okay!" she answers, looking nervously at me and biting her bottom lip.  
  
"Jealous? What of?" I ask in astonishment, squinting a little against the harsh glare of the sun behind Chloe's head.  
  
"Well." She hesitates again, this time focusing on her white sneakers. "Lana's more important to you than I am."  
  
I can't help but wonder if there is a little truth behind her statement. True, I spend every moment I can with Lana. But it's not because she's more important to me then Chloe. Well, she is, but in a different way. Lana is the girl I love, and Chloe is my friend.  
  
"Chloe.Lana isn't more important to me than you. You're my best friend, and no one could ever replace you. Comparing yourself to Lana is just stupid, your two different people with different qualities. You're both very important to me."  
  
I look at her, trying to gauge her reaction. Is she still mad with me? She flicks back her blonde hair and looks at me with determined blue eyes.  
  
"But you love her don't you." She says, more of a statement than a question.  
  
"You already know the answer to that." I say, hoping Lana can't hear this conversation.  
  
I sneak a peek at her through the Talons windows. She's busy serving, a bright smile on her face as she fixes orders. I watch the way she deftly moves through the crowed café, how she brings a radiance with her where ever she goes.  
  
"Clark?" Chloe asks, looking angry once more.  
  
"Yes Chloe?" I answer, focusing my attention back on the stubborn blonde figure.  
  
"I am not just as important to you! You were just staring at Lana while I was trying to tell you something!"  
  
"I'm sorry Chloe, I just wanted to make sure she wasn't listening." I answer, hoping that Chloe will get over it. "Now what did you want to tell me?"  
  
"Nothing! It doesn't matter!" she shouts, and strides off down the street.  
  
How can this be? It's been what, 16 hours, and I've managed to have a fight with two of my best friends. Is this all my fault? Am I just a terrible person?  
  
"Clark? How did it go?" A feminine voice is a welcome intrusion from my thoughts.  
  
I turn to face my raven-haired angel, the sight of her taking my breath away.  
  
"It could have gone better." I answer.  
  
"That bad huh? Tell me about, I'm on my break." She says, walking towards me.  
  
We walk over to a nearby table, isolated because of the weather. I briefly wonder why Lana isn't cold, then smile as I see my coat still wrapped around her slender frame. She must have forgotten about it.  
  
"Well, Chloe's jealous of you."  
  
"Of me? Why?" She asks, a puzzled expression crossing her face.  
  
I laugh at this. Another reason why I love this girl so much is because she's so modest. She doesn't realize just how special, just how perfect she really is.  
  
"I guess that means she didn't really mean all that stuff about me being a bimbo then?" Lana muses, looking hopeful at the thought.  
  
"Of course not. Chloe just needed an excuse to hate you."  
  
"Why does she hate me?" Lana asks, a flicker of hurt crossing her beautiful eyes.  
  
"She doesn't." I try to reassure her. "She was just jealous because.come to think of it, she never really told me. She did say that it was because she felt that you were more important to me then her, but even after I told her it wasn't true she didn't seem to like you."  
  
"Now why would she think that I was more important to you than her?" Lana questions, gazing into my eyes.  
  
"I don't know." I trail off, lost in her hypnotic eyes.  
  
Subconsciously I move closer, dreaming about the touch of her soft, sweet lips. She continues to gaze at me, her gentle eyes pleading with me to continue.  
  
At least that's what I want to see reflected there. It's moments like this I think I have a chance with Lana, moments like this that make my heart quicken in my chest as I dream about her tender kisses, her silken skin.  
  
She's the one edging closer this time, causing my breath to quicken. I notice her eyes on my lips. maybe, just maybe.  
  
"Lana, breaks over. We need you in here now." Nell's voice harshly interrupts the moment.  
  
Lana gets up reluctantly to resume work, leaving me alone at the table. On the walk home I replay the moment over and over in my mind. Maybe one day it will be a reality.  
  
~~~***~~~ 


End file.
